i'm so sad and lonely today. ive been thinking that maybe id like to date someone. i kinda want someone just to hang out with. nothing serious by any means, i know im not ready for that. but someone who cared would be nice.... i'm trying to write my friends history paper and its so hard. i know its wrong but i need the extra cash. the thing is-i usually write english papers-not history! thus im struggling! so im going to go...and try to get this done. and maybe try to smile some too.

ladies and gents today is Beltaine, my favorite pagan holiday. it represents the return of summer -the so called marriage of the Goddess and the sun god. so how would you celebrate? light candles, bonfires, and fuck whomever you please!!! so yes, i fucked this waitor, eric, and it wasnt bad. better than i expected at least. lol. heres one thing you all must understand before you start with the rapid fire-slut attacks: i live my life the way i want to. my world. my rules. **pimptress ...

so i got the job at the ice cream place. and i am dying! these 12 hr days are hell! 6 days a week dude! its just not kosher! i was in a friggin car chase the other night-a truck full of rednecks tried to follow me to my apartment. they didnt know who they were fucking with though...lol. so yeah, i talked to a friend last night from high school for like 4 hours, one i kinda had a crush on but never thought it was reciprocated. turns out it was but now he lives in toronto. life deals you ...

damn. im tired, pissy, hungry: and none of my friends are available. they are all either wasted or working. so instead of going to eat i might just go to darby's and get a little buzz. might put me in a better mood. i cant get too messed up cuz i have to be at work at 11 AM tomorrow....ugh. it was so awful there tonight. i dont want to go back tomorrow! but alas-i must. and after that i have to go to carvel and talk to that guy and see if they will be flexible enough to give me that job. ::si...

ok so ive spend the last three days at myrtle beach. it was gorgeous, i basically babysat my cousins but hey-it was good to be with family. and it was so warm....i got a little color! yay! speaking of tanning, i got a new job before i left on friday! i am now a tanning consultant at Viva La Tan!!! lol. hey-it sounds cool. uh well im tired and have to work both jobs tomorrow and im kind of upset over a comment someone made::cough::marvin::cough:: so im gonna go. love you all. pimptress

ok so yeah-NATHAN is the one telling my mom that im a party animal, that im drinking and smoking-he says hes CONCERNED. i say fuck that. hes fucking jealous-if i had invited him along he wouldnt have cared. hes a vindictive child and im sick of it. i called him and said "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" i told him to stay out of my business, to drop my stuff off, and after that nothing. game over. fuck you. click. to make matters worse, my mom is upset cuz shes helping me with money and th...

uh...ok so i think i have the flu but i drank anyway last night-BAD idea. just in case anyone was planning on doing that. uggg. but i do have some good news-i got my new tattoo! yup, a heart with angel wings on my chest, over my heart. thats right. my boobie got inked today! wOOt wOOt!!! oh and my former best -riend-exboyfriend-first-love? he and i hung out thurs and fri! it was great. its so good to be friends with him again...at'a boy, buttface! i went to go show reggie my ne...

"You'll learn that even that one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break other hearts You'll fight with your best friend, you'll cry because time is passing so fast and you'll eventually lose somebody you love. So today-take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive too freely, and love like you've never been hurt because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back." ~kat ...

someone needs to get laid and i vote for ME!!!!! sorry to be so crude, but damn. i need it. and i dont want a relationship...which is bad i know. i just need a booty call. plain and simple. but if its ok for guys to do it then girls can too. im a firm believer in that.

::huge sigh of relief:: i'm so glad you're back in my life!!!! WHEW! uh work was hell today...nathan is bein crazy-again. dont wanna talk about it. dont have much to say. just checkin in i suppose...

As you walk into the room she runs full force into you And her soul fills you to the brim as you hold her, trembling, in your arms. You let her cry For what was only seconds. But to you it seemed like eternity. It’s always eternity with her- For time itself stops…and pauses to drink in your warmth and bask in the glow of your love. Her voice on the other end of the phone Is filled with an emotion So powerful it scared her at first. You didn’t know what it was But you felt the...

::grr:: i am reallly agitated right now. i was out with some friends last night and nathan calls like.....5 or 6 times and among other things says hes left me a present at the apartment. so me and a rather large group of friends head home after awhile and low and behold-there is a balloon animal teddy bear with a heart and poetry written all over him with black sharpee! it said stuff about how i stole his heart, and how he loves me so much and this isnt the end its only the beginning-ALL this...

i broke up with nathan last night. it was hard but it was what I needed to do. i just feel like i'm at a point where i'm starting a new chapter in my life. im growing and i need to do it alone. i feel that if he really loves me he will let me go-and if its meant to be, we'll both grow up and get back together. and if we grow apart, then it wasnt meant to be in the first place. what worries me is that he wont be able to handle just being friends. should i just break it off completely or try ...

i cant be explicit but right now i am really confused. i honestly dont know if nathan is really changing or just acting like it. i want him to change but deep down im a firm believer that people change their actions but not their beliefs. so its hard for me to see him changing(that is if hes trying to change at all) ok and maybe i have trust issues.....but all that tossed in with a friend who has a thing for me makes life one hell of a burden right now....aaaarg!