Enveloped In My Own Tears

Published on May 3, 2004 By brokedownprincess In Personal Relationships

i'm so sad and lonely today. ive been thinking that maybe id like to date someone. i kinda want someone just to hang out with. nothing serious by any means, i know im not ready for that. but someone who cared would be nice....

i'm trying to write my friends history paper and its so hard. i know its wrong but i need the extra cash. the thing is-i usually write english papers-not history! thus im struggling! so im going to go...and try to get this done. and maybe try to smile some too.

Comments

Solitair

on May 04, 2004

Brokedownprincess,
it's surprising to see this article so soon after a previous article involving one night stands. You're probably feeling the emotional backlash that happens after non emotional intimacy. There are really only two ways to overcome this, suppress it, or cut out non-emotional intimacy. Most people tend to go for the suppress it and screw a bit more attitude, but it realyl doesn't make them happier, just delays the eventual realisation that something is missing. You really seem to be far to emotionally sensitive to make this a viable option. The other solution therefore is to stop having meaningless sex with people and focus on making yourself happy.

You state that you are looking for someone to hang out with and someone who cares, but that you are not ready for a proper relationship. From what I've read of your posts I'm not sure if you can be in a relationship without getting totally swamped. You may not be intellectualyl ready for a serious relationship but emotionally you seem to be wanting one. One option is to get the haning out and caring from a friend. While this won't give the relationship, it will give a lot fo what you seem to need. It's quite hard to keep close friends just friends though and if you mess up the friendship it hurts even more. One good approach is to become a close friend which a gay guy. You can then enjoy the friendship and have him care for you without the potentially negative side of a relationship you are not ready for.

I hope you find what you're looking for, but it almost sounds like you don't know what you're looking for. You're just seem to be emotionally unhappy and grasping at anything which might help you. The bottom line it that you need to be happy in yourself before you can be happy in a relationship. Focus on making yourself happy. That means finding interesting and stimulating things to do. Setting yourself short term goals which you can try to achieve.

paul.

brokedownprincess

on May 05, 2004

well. youre mostly right. but im not sure about the sex thing. i mean, im really not even upset about it., i really dont care about that. i just think it WOULD be nice to be with someone who cares. but i'll muddle through-always do. thanks for the love and support paul!

brokedownprincess

on May 05, 2004

also a big part of it is that i havent had my medicine.....so im just trying to be positive...

Solitair

on May 06, 2004

You're welcome.

I've been through the emotional roller coaster of college years myself. Once you mix emotional uncertainty with economic and future uncertainty you get a very explosive mixture. Relationships often don't last long as people are changing so fast. College never seems to be coming to an end and you sometimes don't even want it to for fear of having to survive in the real world. And you have absolutely no idea what you'll be doing in even 2-3 years time.

The good news is that it does get better. Finishing college makes a huge difference and gives back that stability. In the meantime just continue being positive and look for ways to make you happier (getting drunk doesn't count

)

What medicine do you have to take?

Paul.

brokedownprincess

on May 08, 2004

150 mg of zoloft! for anxiety depression and ocd tendancies. yeah i took this semester off school in order to work and pay for my apartment so i got a small taste of the real world. but i do feel that way-totaly uncertain and unsettled. and i hate it. its just been a rough couple of weeks....

Solitair

on May 09, 2004

You'll get through it.

Just keep being positive and focus on small triumps and challenges at a time. Be settled on a 'one day at a time' basis. Don't let the bigger issues or the general unsettled nature of your life dominate your daily life.

Paul.

The Negotiator

on May 26, 2004

Hey kiddo,

Just wanted to say I know how you feel, and to not give up and keep smiling!

also, don't mean to troll, but I got to the 8th circle of hell on that Dante quiz, kinda sad I didn't get 9, oh well...

Happy Beltaine!

-Ryan

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!